I have to be honest. Every time I start thinking about leaving Terrace and living in Fort Mcmurray, I refuse to continue thinking about it and purposely start thinking about something else. Don't get me wrong i'm super excited to move there. But there are so many scary things involved. First of all leaving Terrace. I love Terrace. I love our people. We are so close to everyone here. Yesterday I was looking through old pictures with Christy and we both almost started crying thinking about those first few years when we were all newlyweds and leading youth. It was a long time ago, many good memories. But its even just this past year. So many people have gone out of their way to help us and especially to encourage me. There are so many people that I could and should thank.....and in the upcoming days I will be thanking a few of them on here. But for right now I really just feel like I need to verbalize my biggest moving fears.....okay so i guess verbalize isn't the right word....blogging them is a close second. So here is the dreaded list that I try not to think about.
1. making new friends.
I'm really nervous about making new friends there. How do you build relationships as close as the ones I have here? I know its time. I will always have the friendships in Terrace but what about there? What if I dont' fit with them? How will I surivive without a friend that I can be totally honest and open with? Again, I know my friends in terrace will still be here for me but the prospect of making new friendships there is rather daunting. Even with my closest friends I often go home and hash over the evening thinking about what ways I might have annoyed them. Here is a very private glimpse into my inesecurities. I KNOW that my friends don't judge me and that they love me unconditionally. But what I know doesn't always win out with my insecurities. "What if they just don't like me? What if I annoy them?" this constantly plays through my head.
2.What if the place were moving into is in way worse condition than I think it is and how will I deal with renovations being done around me?
3. Will I feel safe there?
4. Will I stay in close contact with the people that are in Terrace? I'm very used to daily conversations with Sarena and Christy.
5. Will I be able to withstand the temptation of all the shopping available to me in Edmonton only 4 hours aways!!!!!
What I do know is that God always has the best for me. Tim preached yesterday about how God works all for good for those who love Him. It was a good reminder for me. I know that my God is big, I know that he loves me and my family. I know that he is more than able to care for me. I will not ask him to carry me over my fears and troubles because I know that He will hold my hand and lead me through them which will make the mountain top at the end all the more beautiful!!!
2 comments:
I still feel like that :( But it's probably because i only made like one friend and we don't really talk all that much. I have a few friends i already had from quesnel here, but their busy with their lives. So somtimes i feel pretty lonely. I hope you find great friends and find many excuses to come visit us :D (Even if it's really just to shop :P)
i think of you often (as all our Terrace friends)
praying for God to continue to lead you and to give you the strength and encouragement that you need
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