Monday, September 18, 2006

The Hormone Hostage


The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
Dangerous: What's for dinner?
Safer: Can I help you with dinner?
Safest: Where would you like to go for dinner?
Ultra safe: Here, have some chocolate.
Dangerous: Are you wearing that?
Safer: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
Safest: WOW! Look at you!
Ultra safe: Here, have some chocolate
Dangerous: What are you so worked up about?
Safer: Could we be overreacting?
Safest: Here's my paycheck.
Ultra safe: Here, have some chocolate.
Dangerous: Should you be eating that?
Safer: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Safest: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
Ultra safe: Here, have some chocolate.
Dangerous: What did you DO all day?
Safer: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
Safest: I've always loved you in that robe!
Ultra safe: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

6 comments:

Jenny said...

I'm a permanent #4!
Yeah ain't PMS grand?!

Christy said...

I love those! Hilarious!

And could also pertain to a pregnant, sick, extremely tired, have to pack, have lots to do Mom too!

Tanya said...

Ha ha...those are great! Gonna have to show Jason this list!

starla said...

Bernadette sent it to me! she always sends good ones!
i'll have to post the redneck pictures she sent

Carin said...

Oh gosh Starla... I am in class now and it was all I could do not to giggle... after my initial response I was able to control myself... thanks for sharing!

Linda said...

hahaha LOVE this !!! also pertains to grandma who is approaching menopause ( aw heck, who am I kidding - menopause is attacking me and I'm tryin to run!)